Middle-Aged, Divorced, Trying to Date

It’s time to grieve the 55-year-old woman I’m not going to be.

Photo by author

A friend tells me I shouldn’t say “I’m not marriage material.” He says having been married one time to one man isn’t enough data for such a statement. The idea that I should try many marriages to many people before I draw a conclusion appalls me. I know you don’t succeed if you don’t try, but one failed marriage feels like enough experimenting for me.

I’ll be 55 years old in July. I recently tried yet another dating app, this time one for people age 50 and over. It yielded no more success for me than past ones I’ve also used: Bumble, Tinder, OK Cupid, Plenty of Fish. Those felt like they were full of young people, which is why I tried this one which is called “Our Time.” I should have known it wouldn’t be good from the name. It sounds like it has a rocking chair in its logo. But it was the first and only one I had heard of for us over-50s, so I gave it a shot.

Dating apps are probably not the way to go for people my age. The image-centered swiping culture is for photogenic people and in our culture middle-age and old age do not make for photogenic faces/necks/chests. I mostly got attention from people whose profiles didn’t have photos or any information, and from scammers, trying to milk me for money (how to recognize dating…