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Staying Home Gets Harder For Those Who Live Alone
There’s cruelty in telling single-dwellers to only celebrate with people in our household.
In Chicago the word came on Thursday: as of Monday, 16 Nov, residents are advised to stay home except for work, school and essential needs such as getting groceries or medical care. Chicago residents are also strongly advised to:
a) Not have guests in their homes unless they are essential workers (e.g, home healthcare providers or educators).
b) Cancel traditional Thanksgiving celebrations.
c) Avoid travel.
We’re encouraged to celebrate the holidays only with people in our household, which I guess is fine for people who have others in their household whom they enjoy, but it’s not fine for those of us who don’t. There are plenty of households with people who are abusive or worse, or who simply have members who don’t want to celebrate together. Advising us to celebrate only with those in our households is unrealistic and shows ignorance of the millions of households for which that is terrible advice.
It’s advice that feels particularly cruel to me: I live alone. I also have no family in the state and I look forward all year to hosting my friends on Christmas Day. I believe Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot knows the number of American single-person households has increased since 1960, from 7 million to 36 million nationwide. I believe she and others spouting “celebrate only with people in your household” don’t mention us because they don’t know how to address those of us who live alone.
They don’t have any advice for us who are sinking into deeper levels of loneliness than we’ve ever felt. They don’t know what to say to us who feel so isolated we have no idea how we’re going to get through Christmas or the winter. I’ve been struggling with loneliness that blindsided me when I got through the spring all right, but came up against a feeling of raw abandonment when I wanted to spend my summer birthday with friends and could only get a few to spend two hours having cake with me, even if we stayed apart, even if we wore face coverings.
I learned young not to rely on family for emotional support and at age 22, I moved far away…
